I'll start this one by saying, "Hello! I'm back, bitches. And whether you like it or not, I'm going to say what I want. Offensive or not. And the WGA strike can kiss my ass. This writer is back in action and I don't need to get paid to compose literature of substance."
That said, today's topic is: "Backbones: Do you have one?"
Of course, we are all born with spines. Well, most of us. Some of us have crooked ones or broken ones but the majority of homo-sapiens have perfectly solid backbones. Literally speaking. Unfortunately, such is not the case in the figurative sense.
Here are a few questions one could ask themself if they were in doubt that they possessed this figurative "backbone."
1. When someone walks all over you, do you allow it or do you buck up and tell them to f*ck off and get over themselves?
2. When you say you're going to DO something, do you just say it or do you actually DO it? (This does not refer to favors... this refers to real things like, I dunno, standing up for yourself.)
3. Do you have a group of people that would stand in front of a speeding train if they knew it would save your life? Being the one who would do that for others doesn't count. The point of being someone with backbone is that people respect you and would do the same for you.
4. Instead of dealing with problems directly, do you let them fester and say nothing in order to avoid conflict?
5. Do you think that if you actually do stand up for yourself it's considered fighting?
6. Do you constantly think that by rationalizing that the fact that other people consistantly bail on you is your fault you can ignore the fact that people only do what you let them get away with?
7. Do you think it's better to be seen as a pushover than an asshole and try to think of yourself as somewhere in between to avoid actually admitting that you're a pushover?
8. Do you find that complacency is the key ingredient to your sanity?
9. Do you start making lists of all the things you want to accomplish, get to #6, give up and think, "That's enough for now... plus I don't want to actually have to tackle the things that are really setting me back..."?
10. Is your idea of showing emotion to pout and say, "Hey now..." rather than saying what it is you REALLY want to say?
... and lucky number 11. Do you lack passion in your life????
If you answer yes to most or all of these questions, you may not have a backbone. And here's my solution.
Stop whining and take action. It's one thing to be understanding and sweet and a good friend, but after a while it gets boring. If you never do anything for yourself, no one else will want to do anything for you either.
So take a good look in the mirror, make a real list of the things you want to change about yourself, and do it. Take Nike's advice. JUST DO IT! Friends were not created to "kick your ass" but they were made to tell you you're being a giant schmuck when necessary.
In the meantime, the battle of the blogs is on hiatus. Gimme a call when your balls drop and we'll go from there.
Adieu.
