At around 9:30 this morning, in the pouring rain, I attempted to convince a cop not to impound my car, which was LEGALLY parked on a street in Santa Monica. However, the fact that it had quite expired Texas registration tags meant I wasn't going to talk my way out of that mess.
So, the next 7 hours of my day were basically about as painful as sticking hot pokers in my eyes. Thankfully, I met this kick ass chick last night at a movie premiere and she carted me around all day whilst I ran the gauntlet of crap that needed to be done in order to get my car out of the impound. Hannah Banana is my hero.
In case you live in Los Angeles and think you can get away with not registering your car here, hear this: You are sorely mistaken. Here is what you will be put through if you should stupidly decide, as I did, that renewing your registration is not important...
1. Your car can be impounded from the street even if you are legally parked (apparently).
2. In the event that it is impounded, it's not like you can just show up at the tow yard and pick it up after shelling out a few hundred bucks.
3. You must first bring the title, registration, and insurance information to the DMV, where you will wait for hours among some of the most grotesque people you've ever laid eyes on.
4. The DMV will harass you and make you feel like the scum of the earth before FINALLY processing your "temporary registration" and charging you a minimum of $200.
5. Next you must go to the local police station to get your car "released" from the tow yard. To do this, you must bring them the temporary registration you just got from the DMV and sit in a cold, poorly decorated waiting room while the only detective that handles auto impound is in a 5 hour meeting and taking her sweet time to get back to the office.
6. Lastly, when you finally get to speak to a real live person, they give you a document that you must bring to the tow yard to officially release your vehicle back into your possession. But of course, by the time you make it back over to the tow yard, there is a line 10 deep and it's pouring again outside and they're taking 30 minutes per angry car owner.
7. Don't forget to run out of gas on the way home. That's an important step.
Yes. Today sucked. Tomorrow will be better. Thursday will be awesome because I'll be in Colorado.
Take it sleazy, kids. And renew your registration.
